


Xiuhani and the Xiuharem

by TangoMcGrand



Series: A Hyperbolic Cleanse [2]
Category: EXID (Band), EXO (Band)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-13 03:19:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5692606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TangoMcGrand/pseuds/TangoMcGrand
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Minseok is ethereally beautiful and everyone is in love with him on sight. This sounds all good and fun, but it's actually a hazard to have people faint at the sight of your angelic beauty, and it's annoying when all Minseok really wants is a cup of coffee.<br/>Then one day Minseok meets Hani and she isn't even attracted to him at all, and that's so refreshing that Minseok immediately decides he has to become best friends with her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Minseok is looking in the mirror and even he can't handle how pretty his face is, but the fact that he is consistently able to stop himself from literally making out with his reflection (when he totally could) says something. Sometimes, being a literal ethereal angel sent down from the heavens above as the epitome of beauty has its drawbacks. Indeed it always has its drawbacks. Minseok can't leave the house without people literally falling at his feet, staring at him until they run themselves into walls or each other, or even fainting at the sight of him.

Not that Minseok is a god, or has any supernatural origins for that matter, none that Minseok knows of anyway. He is just really pretty. So pretty that it is really weird and the author writing his story literally could not comprehend it.


	2. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This entire concept about Minseok's ethereal beauty is actually an inside joke I have with my sister who wrote a fic about the same thing but way better and also shorter.  
> You can check that out here: 
> 
>  
> 
> [Kim Minseok's Daily Struggle](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6467452)

“Well aren't you beautiful.” A voice says from somewhere to Minseok's right. Minseok, who is reading a very engaging book thank you very much, doesn't even bother to look up. It's not that Minseok is being rude, he's just in the middle of a very interesting chapter and is all too used to comments exclusively concentrated on his appearance. He could hardly go anywhere without strangers stopping on the street just to point him out, or in some cases bursting into tears at the sight of the unsullied absolute purity of the beauty that is his face. 

The man doesn't seem to want to be ignored. He continues speaking, even though Minseok is sure he's shown no signs of interest, “I'm serious, you're gorgeous! I'm not even into dudes!”.  Minseok's immersion in the story is broken. He reads the same sentence several times, trying to understand the words but he's distracted by the annoyance that settles in his chest. He stubbornly refuses to look at the man however. He figures that since people can't seem to look past his face, he's under no obligation to look past people's unwarranted comments. 

The man sort of digresses. “Hey, I swear I'm not a creep or anything, I said I wasn't into dudes. I can see that you're busy, so I'll just shut up, sorry I bothered you.” Minseok silently prays to the heavens that that would be the end of it, that the man would leave him alone and he could read his book in peace for the rest of the train ride.

Minseok had been in a situation like this countless times. Having beauty that transcended gender meant that many people had sexuality crises after meeting him. Too often had Minseok met people that beg him to sleep with him because 'he was the only boy they had ever felt that way about before'. Straight boys were really the biggest problem because they were the most entitled. The most heartbreaking time that this had happened had been with his (ex) best friend Luhan, who had abruptly ended his two year relationship with his girlfriend because he had accidentally brushed hands with Minseok on the way to the park.

That's what you get for having the body of a god and the face of an angel. If there were an award for prettiest person on earth Minseok would be disqualified for divine intervention, he was that ethereal. Everyone else on earth had been made imperfect just so that Minseok's face could embody all that was good and beautiful with the density of a black hole and no one could escape his orbit. But being the embodiment of Plato's Form of Beauty had it's drawbacks and one of them was that Minseok wasn't good at keeping friends.

Minseok knows he has to make friends somehow; all his past friends all had left him after they found out that he wasn't interested in dating them. Once Minseok had told people that he wasn't interested in him they would respond in heartbreak, saying that they couldn't be around him knowing he could never be theirs. It was dramatic, and inconvenient, but Minseok couldn't help being literally the most beautiful person in earth. At least this new guy was being relatively civil. Maybe he was being too harsh on a virtual stranger, attributing to him a personality that had only been built up from other people's actions. Minseok thoughtfully closes his book and looks up to find the man who had spoken to him still staring at him. It's creepy but he has to power through it.

“Sorry,” Minseok says, “I was almost finished the chapter I was on, I didn't want to stop in the middle of a sentence, sorry if I came across as rude.” he says this in his most politest tone, trying to leave a good impression

“You didn't.” the man says all too quickly. “What are you reading anyway?”

Minseok tilts the book and flashes the cover to the man, he ignores the fact that everyone else in the train peaks at the cover as well. “John Dies at the End,” Minseok says casually.

“Do you like it?”

“I do.”

“Does John die at the end?”

Minseok is unable to stop the snarky remark “If I were at the end then why would I still be reading this book?” There's silence for a while, until Minseok decides to speak again. “I'm Minseok by the way, what's your name.”

 “Chanyeol, wait did you say Minseok, like Kim Minseok? Do you work at the Lame & Dumb Office© by any chance? 

Minseok shifts uncomfortably. He'd been working at the office for only about a week now, he hadn't made any friends, just a few professional introductions. “I do...?” He says finally. 

“Oh shit, my friend Jongdae talks about you all the time, he gave up his dreams of becoming a singer for you, decided to think more practically about his future. To be honest I thought he was exaggerating when he said your beauty was an incomprehensible enigma too pure for this world, too angelic, but I'm starting to think that was an understatement.”

“Oh. Well I don't think I know a Jongdae.”

“Well you wouldn't.” Chanyeol laughs and Minseok thinks he is going to expand on this plot point but instead he easily ignores the issue. “Anyway he says finding a new more practical dream is the best thing that's ever happened to him, so I guess I should thank you, maybe you really are an angel sent from heaven just like Jongdae said you were.” Chanyeol laughs, Minseok doesn't.

Minseok doesn't really know what to say anymore, he can't for the life of him remember who Jongdae is or where he works in the company. So instead of responding Minseok asks, “What department does Jongdae work in?”

“Hm? Oh.” Chanyeol seems distracted, like he's contemplating the existence of angels. “Human resources.” he finally says. Minseok feels his eyebrows raise. Human resources was three floors down from him, he doesn't even think he'd been in that area of the building.

Chanyeol voice sounds distant as he begins speaking again, “You know, maybe I could set you two up or something, I'm sure you'll like him, he's quite handsome! I'll find you a picture.” Chanyeol pulls his phone out of his pocket and starts swiping at the screen determinedly.

“No, that's okay, I'll take your word for it that he's very handsome.” Minseok says politely. At this point Minseok finds his energy has gone. He doesn't want to see any pretty boys, he just wants to go home, have a nice long bath, and read his book. When Chanyeol's phone is inevitably shoved under his nose, Minseok has to give Chanyeol some credit in that Jongdae was indeed very pretty. Minseok's mind wanders to coffee.

“I think you'd really like him if you got to know him” Chanyeol says and Minseok nods. He thinks that Chanyeol is right. Minseok is sure he would like a lot of people if he got to know them, but so far he hadn't had the opportunity to bond with anyone other than his immediate family because everyone else was so concerned with making the fuck out with him.

“Jongdae would be so excited to hear I talked to you, hell I would date you myself if i weren't so straight!” Chanyeol laughs to himself. Minseok has basically tuned Chanyeol out at this point. He really didn't mean to be dismissive, in fact he thinks Chanyeol seems like a friendly guy, it's just that Minseok has run through these motions so often that they just seem to run themselves.

He talks to Chanyeol for a little while, but Chanyeol doesn't seem to process anything he says content to just stare at Minseok's face. Eventually Minseok manages to escape back into his book, happy to pretend for a while that he is David, fighting frozen meat monsters and who is perhaps a little more done with the world than he is.

He gets off the train before Chanyeol does, and offers a friendly goodbye to which Chanyeol responds “Will I ever see you again?” which Minseok thinks is a little weird so he simply answers 'no' and gets off the train.

 

. . .

 

It's a Tuesday morning. Today's a very busy day for Minseok because he has a deadline to meet this afternoon and he still has to make some final adjustments and make sure everything's formulated properly with no mistakes. He's very distracted so please forgive him for being a little clumsy around corners, and maybe not being attentive enough to the office traffic around him. It shouldn't be a surprise to him that he runs into someone, knocking all his papers out of his hands in the process, but it is still an inconvenience. His papers have all scattered onto the ground, and for a while Minseok just stares at them, his brain fried from all the caffeine he'd consumed last night when he had read and reread his papers trying to make sure that he hadn't missed anything.

The girl he bumped into is the first to respond to this turn of events. “Oh my god, I'm so sorry!” She says. She has her hands in front of her mouth in shock, and she's looking down at all the mess. She's a young woman, pretty, she has long hair that is dyed a light brown and bangs that rest gently against her forehead.

Minseok's brain catches up with the situation and he gets down onto the floor to start collecting the papers, not yet bothering to put them in order and just trying to get them off the floor. The girl also drops down onto her knees, pushing papers into a pile and picking them up to organize them. Minseok looks at the girl briefly, she seems very stressed, and hurried.

“I'm sorry I bumped into you.” Minseok says, “If you have somewhere to go you don't have to help me, I can pick these papers up myself.” The girl looks up and gives Minseok an apologetic look before abandoning the papers and getting up hurriedly. Minseok thinks this might be one of the first times that someone has volunteered to leave him so quickly after meeting him and it may be the most refreshing thing Minseok has ever experienced.

“I really am sorry.” She repeats again before scuttling off down the hall, and Minseok stares after her amazed. He had to get to know this woman. Some people who had witnessed this accident come help Minseok pick up his papers (even though he's already almost finished picking them up) and wish him good luck on his project, and give him condolences for dropping them.

 

. . .

 

Minseok does manage to turn in his work on time and he decides to reward himself with some coffee from the coffee shop on the first floor of the building. He feels extra today, so he decides to get himself a cappuccino today unlike his usual plain coffee. 

While he's waiting in line he hears someone clear their throat behind him. “Mr. Kim?” a voice asks cautiously. Minseok turns around to view a familiar face that he can't quite place. “I'm Jongdae" the man says, "Chanyeol told me he spoke to you?”. Minseok's head is still in post-deadline celebratory haze and he can't seem to remember why either of those names should be a significant name to him. At first Minseok is confused but eventually it clicks for him who this guy is. Jongdae; the guy who had made life decisions based on seeing someone's face.

“Yes, I remember, did you need something Jongdae?” Jongdae seems to swoon when Minseok says his name, but Minseok decides to ignore that, keeping an eye on the person in line in front of him who had just gone up to order. 

“I just wanted to apologize for him, I hope he didn't leave a bad impression of me, I'm not nearly as creepy as he made me seem, I promise.” Jongdae laughs and Minseok manages to smile back, he was in a good mood and he didn't have an impending deadline to worry about so some conversation didn't bother him at all.

“He made you seem very creepy.” Minseok affirms and laughs when Jongdae makes a face. He could do this, he could be friendly and get past this awkward crush stage. The person at the cash register is now unoccupied so Minseok moves up to order noticing that Jongdae immediately followed and stood beside him like he wasn't interested in ordering for himself. The woman behind the cash register refuses to look Minseok in the eye, blushing when Minseok's hands brushes hers as he took the coffee out of her hand and politely thanks her. 

'Where are you headed now?” Jongdae asks Minseok curiously.

“I was about to go do some work in my office, but I have some free time now if you wanted to get coffee with me?” Minseok says this mentally prepared to try this new friendship, maybe if he set the boundaries in the beginning of the relationship feelings wouldn't come to play later. Jongdae looks like he wants to agree but it also seems like he has other plans where he just literally faints right there.

'Is that a no?' Minseok thinks without humour, and he kneels over to check if Jongdae is bleeding or hit his head too hard. He turns Jongdae's head to the side to make sure that he didn't choke on his tongue as was standard procedure for Minseok now after so many faint victims. 

Minseok hears whispers coming from a table nearby as he crouches down as he checks Jongdae's throat for a pulse, at first he thinks they must be whispering about the passed out Jongdae on the floor, but he finds that he can hear them and they aren't talking about that at all. 

“Dude, seriously look at that guy he's gorgeous!” 

“I can only see his back but it's a nice back.”

“Do you think that's that Minseok guy that we keep hearing about? I was doubtful at first but if that's Minseok I take back everything I ever said ever, like literally I don't want to be associated with anything I said before today and request to be cleansed of all my sins.”

“You do you man, but I know that guy makes me want to sin.”

Minseok is a little annoyed at this, how all these guys can make rude remarks about him and ignore the body on the ground. He looks over his shoulder and gives the boys a curt pointed glare to inform them that they are being rude, but they apparently take as an invitation to talk to him.

“Hey mister.” One of the boys says and Minseok ignores him in favour of elevating Jongdae's feet in to restore some blood flow to Jongdae's brain because usually in his experience this would wake people up. And Jongdae does wake up, blinking his eyes blearily until his eyes land on Minseok and he startles and almost moves to push himself up but Minseok gently pushes him back down.

“Easy there,” Minseok says, “You fainted and hit your head on the way down, try not to move okay? Are you hurt? Do you think you need to go to the hospital?” Minseok looks patiently down at Jongdae, waiting for him to respond. When Jongdae just faints again, Minseok takes that as his cue to call the hospital.

“911, what's your emergency?”

“Hello? Yes, It's Minseok.”

“Minseok? Ah yes, it's been a while since you called, another faint victim by any chance?”

“Yessir, I'm in The Lame and Dumb Offices©, ground floor, coffee shop.”

“Another incident at work, Mr Kim?” The woman chuckles. “Alright I've reported your condition and an ambulance will be sent to be immediately. Have a nice day Minseok.”

“Thank you, you too.” 

Minseok sighs as he hangs up the phone, one of the guys from the table that spoke to him earlier starts talking to him again. “Hey mister. What's going on is that guy okay?” The one man asks, and Minseok pushes himself to his feet and turns to view the boys at that table.

There are four of them, looking between him and Jongdae inquisitively, they finally look decently worried. The one that was just speaking looks like a noodle, another like an owl. One of the two in the back looks like a puppy and the other just looks like a cool guy. 

“I'm sure he'll be fine, but there's an ambulance coming to make sure he didn't hit his head too hard.”

“Damn, you seem like you know what you're doing, does this happen to you a lot?” The boys laugh at that like it's ridiculous but Minseok knows better. The first time someone had fainted because of Minseok had come as a shock too, after that it just became standard. One of his worst experiences with faint victims happened on a chilly day when he had asked a jogger for directions somewhere. The girl had fainted the second she looked up at him, Minseok's hand still on her shoulder. She only been wearing a t-shirt so Minseok, being the good citizen that he is, had taken off his sweater to lay it on her like a blanket but in the process revealed his bare chest to the world around him. Everyone withing a hundred meters of him simultaneously fainted. When the ambulance got there he had been frantically running between the masses of bodies checking for injuries, half naked in the middle of autumn. The medics had fainted too. Ever since that day Minseok had made sure to always wear at least two layers of clothing.

“You have no idea,” He mumbles under his breath, the boys don't seem to notice. 

“I'm Kris, this is Jongin, Kyungsoo, and Sehun. If there's anything we can do to help just let us know.” 

“Actually there is, do you think you could watch over this Jongdae here till the ambulance gets here? Like make sure he doesn't move too much or get up. I just really need to get back to work.” That last part is a lie, but Minseok wants to be out of here before the medics arrive because apparently sometimes he causes a distraction just by being there.

“Yeah sure man whatever you need.” Kris says and everyone else at the table nods in agreement. Minseok thanks them and gives Jongdae one last worried look before he picks up his coffee and escapes to the door. He has to hold the door open a little longer to help an old lady get in.

“He is literally and angel.” Minseok overhears one of the boys say and suppresses a groan. He goes back to his office upstairs and sips at his coffee which is now lukewarm at best.

 

. . .

 

“Minsookie!!” Someone calls to Minseok and he looks up from his papers to find that that someone is now sitting on his desk.

“Baekhyun.” Minseok says in surprise.

“Ah, you remember me.” Baekhyun says smiling. Baekhyun had been in the office next door to Minseok ever since he started working here, and for just as long Baekhyun had frequently come into Minseok's office asking for standard office supplies, like staples, printer paper, paper clips, etc.

“Yes, of course I do Baekhyun, did you come to ask me something?”

Baekhyun starts squishing his cheeks together. “So cute!” he squeals and Minseok waits patiently for him to stop and get to the point. All things considered, Baekhyun was probably Minseok's closest thing to a friend right now since he saw Baekhyun regularly and sometimes Baekhyun would talk about things other than just beg Minseok to go out with him. 

“Right, okay so, I have a proposition for you.” 

“I'm listening.”

“You know how Junmyeon and I have that friendly rivalry going on about who can win your hand first?” 

“...No.” 

“Well anyway, see the thing is that if I win, he has to buy me coffee every morning for a month, but if I lose I have to buy him coffee. Now I know it's against the rules to tell you this but it's become pretty clear to me that you're not interested in either of us so this little bet of ours probably isn't going anywhere. The problem is that I really want that coffee, so i was wondering if you could do me this huge favour and pretend that you went on a date with me? Just to Junmyeon, you don't even have to go on the date with me, just please I really want that coffee.”

Minseok finds himself amused by this. Baekhyun had come across to him as the mischievous sort but had a kind smile and a gentle demeanor. He lets a smile break onto his face. “You want me to pretend to have gone on a date with you so that you can have free coffee for a month. 

Baekhyun laughs back and scratches the back of his neck. “Yes?” He says. 

Minseok muses on the prospect for a while, still amused. He doesn't see himself losing anything in this exchange, and he really did see Baekhyun as his closest thing to a friend.

“Alright, I'm in, but at least one of those coffees has to go to me.”

 

. . .

 

The good news is that Baekhyun gets free coffee every day for the following month and Minseok gets free coffee every Tuesday from Baekhyun. The bad news is that now there are rumours everywhere about Minseok dating.

“I swear the only person I told was Junmyeon.” Says Baekhyun one day, barging into Minseok's office, coffee in hand, looking worried and apologetic. Minseok kindly brushes him off and sends him back to his office and then gets himself back to work.

 

. . .

 

Minseok hears a knock on his door and turns around to see the girl he had run in to not too long ago. “Kim Minseok?” the girl asks professionally.

“That's me.” Minseok replies. “Do you need anything?" 

“Yes, I am Ahn Heeyeon from the floor downstairs, I've come to ask you a few questions for a survey about employee satisfaction, may I come in?” 

“Yes of course, you can, I'm sorry but there's no where for you to sit.” 

“That's okay I can just stand this won't take long.”

Heeyeon asks some multiple choice questions and marks them down on her clipboard when Minseok answers. It really doesn't take long.

“Alright thank you for your cooperation, your answers will go towards making working at this company a better experience for everyone.” Heeyeon says.

“Glad to help” Minseok replies, “Oh and I hope this doesn't sound rude but didn't I run into you a little less than a week ago? Drop my papers everywhere?”

The girl ducks her head, flushing a light shade of pink, but she's smiling. “Was that you? I'm sorry.” This Heeyeon didn't seem to even remember his face at all, this was prime pickings for the friendship tree. 

“No no, it was my fault but you seemed like you were in a hurry then, did you get where you needed to be on time?” Minseok had to keep this conversation going.

“Yes, I was a little early even, it was actually my job interview that I needed to get to.” 

“Ah, you got the job then?” Minseok feels like he's on the other side of the conversation that he's used to, like he's trying to keep going a dead conversation just to keep someone's attention. 

“Yes, here I am.”

“Is it your first day?" 

“Second.”

“Ahhh, well you're doing very well, you blend in here perfectly.” Minseok isn't really used to making small talk, and the girl looks like she wants to leave, so as much as Minseok wants to create a strong friendship right then and there it looks like the tides are against him.

“Thank you, although I'm not sure you meant that as a compliment.” 

“Of course I did. Anyway good luck on your second day! It shouldn't take too long to get used to this place, I've only worked here for about a month and look at me. I fit in perfectly.” 

Heeyeon looks intrigued, “You've only been here a month?

“Yes, well a little more than a month but yes.” 

“Oh, everyone here seems to know you.”

Minseok coughs uncomfortably. “Yeah I didn't do anything spectacular to earn that.”

“No? You're dating a guy named Baekhyun, right?” 

“No, actually that's just a rumour.” 

“Just a rumour... That's not what Baekhyun said.” 

Minseok chokes on his own saliva and Heeyeon laughs. 

“I'm kidding, I'm kidding I've never talked to this 'Baekhyun' before. Anyway it was nice meeting you Minseok, I have to go finish doing all these surveys. Have a nice day!” 

Heeyeon seemed so humourable and friendly. Minseok decided right then that he needed to become best friends with Heeyeon. Pronto.

 

. . .

 

Minseok meets Heeyeon in line one day when he's getting his morning coffee. There's no line but she's standing away from the counter, looking at the menu quietly. He taps on her shoulder and ducks away to the other side when she turns her head to look at him, and he laughs when she looks to find no one on that side of her shoulder.

“Heeyeon.” He greets

“Oh, hello.” Heeyeon says smiling, “I was a little early today so I decided to grab a cup of tea, do you come here every morning?” 

“Nearly, yes,the coffee here is addictive, I'd recommend it to you if I wanted to ruin your life.” 

Heeyeon barely smiles at that, maybe she's used to having men hit on her all the time so she thinks that what Minseok is doing. Minseok decides that Heeyeon must want to be left alone. “If you haven't made up your mind, do you mind if I go and order ahead of you?”

“Oh? Yes of course, sorry, yes, I'm not in line yet, go ahead.”

Minseok gives her a brief smile and moves up to the counter to order his regular. While he's waiting for his order he overhears Heeyeon order the same thing he ordered. Minseok smiles to himself and commends her on her good choice. 

“You're gonna love it” He tells her as he is handed his coffee and he takes in into his hands and smells it theatrically. “Mmmmm! Yum!” And with that he turns away and goes to his office.

 

. . .

 

Someone is staring at him; he can see it in his peripheral vision, someone sitting several tables away had been staring at him constantly for at least the last five minutes as Minseok tries to eat his lunch. Normally Minseok ate in his office instead of the cafeteria to avoid this exact problem but today he had forgotten to bring his own lunch and had to buy food. He's about to put his chopsticks down and stare at that person right back when someone sits down beside Minseok blocking his view. It's Heeyeon.

“I noticed you were sitting all alone, so I thought I'd come join you!” Heeyeon says, and Minseok is somewhat confused. He had thought Heeyeon had no interest in him but he welcomes the company. “Also, I don't want to alarm you but there is a guy over there that is just straight up staring at you, he looked like he was going to make a move to come sit here so I came to protect you!” 

Minseok coughs out a laugh at that, “Thanks I guess.” Heeyeon smiles at him. 

“That happens a lot doesn't it? People staring at you? It's sort of unnerving isn't it. I noticed that a lot of people treat you like a god.” Heeyeon smiles at him and then she starts picking at her food and putting it in her mouth.

“Yeah, you're telling me! I don't even know why people are so obsessed with me I'm just here to do my job.” Minseok says, knowing full well that people stared at him because he was the epitome of all earthly beauty but it feels a little conceited to say that.

Heeyeon makes a face like she knows where he's coming from. They eat in silence for a while, not having anything to say but not needing to leave the conversation for anything, eventually Minseok decided to speak up. 

“So how's your first week going? Have you made any friends yet? Do you like the job?”

Heeyeon chews her food a bit before responding. “It's going relatively well, the job seems to be pretty easy once you get the hang of it, I've met a few people but I haven't made any friends. Do you have friends here?”

“Not in so many words no, but I get along with everyone fine, and my office neighbor sometimes brings me coffee because I helped him out with a bet. Baekhyun, you know the guy that rumour was about.” 

“Oh, yeah that rumour. I never even see you with anybody else, how did that rumour get started anyway?” 

“The same reason I get coffee once in a while from him; the bet.”

“Bet?” Heeyeon looks innocently up at him with her chopsticks half lifted to her face, Minseok feels compelled to tell her all his secrets.

Minseok looks around like he's conspiring with Heeyeon, “I don't know if I should be sharing this with you but Baekhyun had a bet with his friend about who could date me first. Obviously neither of them did date me but Baekhyun was the first to notice I wasn't interested in dating anyone so that's why I helped him win.”

“Not interested in dating?" Hani repeats with a curious lilt to her voice.

“Yeah, well, the truth is that I've never been interested in anyone ever.” Minseok tells her.

"You mean everyone wants to date you and you're just not interested?” 

"Yup." Minseok confirms

“Oh, that's interesting, I'm not interested in boys which is also kind of a problem.” She laughs.

Minseok smiles too, he's glad to have this point of connection with Heeyeon. He is very content just being around her; there's no pressure to be an ethereal and perfect pinnacle of humanity, and can just be himself. Heeyeon doesn't seem interested in him at all which makes Minseok feel warm and fuzzy like his only asset to the world isn't what he can be to someone romantically. Minseok is barely able to contain his excitement about how Heeyeon is here and treating him like he's any other guy.

“You know...” Heeyeon says, “This is going to come out of nowhere but you've been here more than a month, yeah? Maybe you can tell me about the people here, or specifically a person.” 

Minseok looks up over to Heeyeon curiously. “I don't really know everyone here that well, but I could give it a shot.” Minseok replies.

“That girl over there, do you know her name?”

Minseok follows Heeyeon's eye and gesture to see a blonde girl sitting at one of the cafeteria tables with a pile of papers spread out in front of her in concentration. Minseok knows this girl, had seen her together with Baekhyun usually but sometimes just randomly around the office.

“You mean Taeyeon?”

“Tae-Yeon.” Heeyeon repeats to herself slowly. “That's a pretty name, tell me more.”

Minseok glances over at Heeyeon quizzically. “Uhm, I'm not sure I'm qualified. Her name is Kim Taeyeon and I think she works in Human Resources? But I'm not sure.” 

“Yes she works in HR.” Heeyeon says quickly and Minseok feels dumb for forgetting Heeyeon works in that department as well.

“Oh. Well, I only really know her through Baekhyun really, but she seems really nice, why do you bring her up? Are you working with her?”

Heeyeon seems to ignore the question. “Baekhyun? How does she know Baekhyun, are they friends?”

“Yeah, I mean they seem to be? I think they were dating or sleeping together at some point, but I don't think that really stuck. They seem to get along well.” 

Heeyeon frowns at that. 

“Sorry.” Minseok says.

“Hm? No it's fine.” Heeyeon picks at her food; she seems to be pouting. Minseok thinks he's beginning to grasp the situation, in retrospect he should have known earlier but he's had to keep himself relatively blind to crushes, for his own sanity's sake. 

“I might be able to introduce you two at some point if you want to come hang out with Baekhyun and me someday? I mean no promises but.” Minseok is pulling ideas out of thin air with absolutely no concept of how to bring them into existence, but Heeyeon brightens up and Minseok feels like a successful friend.

“Are you serious?” Heeyeon prods and Minseok smiles.

 

. . .

 

The wording is a little awkward when Minseok gets around to proposing the idea to Baekhyun, but Baekhyun seems really into being around Minseok so he hardly asks any questions about why. Minseok ends up setting it up like a double date, suggesting that he needs the extra support at the date and it would be great if Baekhyun could even just pretend to date Taeyeon. He doesn't want to raise suspicion about why he wanted to hang out with specifically Baekhyun and Taeyeon. Baekhyun seems a little disappointed that Minseok has a date with someone else but he acts flattered that Minseok wanted to tag him along.

Heeyeon is a little shy around Taeyeon at first; when Taeyeon steps towards her with an outstretched hand and introduces herself Heeyeon basically just giggles through it. But soon enough they end up bonding over small talk and Taeyeon seems to catch onto the fact that Heeyeon doesn't seem interested in Minseok at all. Soon Taeyeon and Heeyeon both run off together leaving Minseok and Baekhyun alone. Baekhyun doesn't seem to be so off-put by that, in fact he consoles Minseok about his date running off and says he hopes his company isn't worse that Heeyeon's.

The good news is that when Baekhyun isn't unabashedly staring at him, or tripping on his own feet he's actually a pretty cool guy. They spend some time just sitting in the park watching the sun go down and talking about work and how Heeyeon and Taeyeon had both just run off. Baekhyun screams once when Minseok accidentally touches his arm.

Minseok and Baekhyun are discussing the merits of using Times New Roman font as opposed to Arial when someone comes over and just punches Baekhyun in the face.

“OW, OH MY GOD WHAT WAS THAT FOR?” Baekhyun shouts holding his hands to his face, Minseok looks between Baekhyun and his assaulter at a loss of what to do.

“I heard screaming and thought that this beautiful young man,” he gestures to Minseok “was in trouble so I dashed over here to save the day!”. The man looks over at Minseok. “Are you alright, sir?”

“I mean I was until you punched my friend here in the face, man, what the hell?” 

Baekhyun makes a small noise and passes out, Minseok decides he doesn't need immediate attention.

“This thug here is your friend?”

“Yes, and my coworker, what on earth made you think he was threatening?” 

“Well, next to you, everyone would look shady.” The man narrows his eyes at Baekhyun and Minseok tries not to scream. He looks over at Baekhyun who has started to slide down his seat, he puts out an arm to hold him in place. 

The man gasps, “How could you let a mere mortal touch your most pure skin?” he whispers. 

“Who even are you?” Minseok asks annoyed and he tries to wake Baekhyun up or at least get him in a more comfortable position.

“Your self appointed guardian.” the man bows. “Zhang Yixing at your service.”

“Well, Yixing, your services are no longer required, thank you.”

The man looks heartbroken at that but Minseok can't find it within himself to care. Yixing looks like he's about to walk away, but then as he's eyeing Baekhyun suspiciously he makes a startled noise.

“Wait is that Byun Baekhyun?”

“You know Baekhyun.” Minseok isn't even in the mood to be surprised, just unamused.

“Yeah, we go way back, he's my friend from high school, I guess I didn't notice it was him.” What the fuck. “When he wakes up, can you do me a favour and not tell him it was me that punched him, that would be really nice.”

“Whatever." 

“Thanks, sorry I bothered you though, you should keep an eye out for predators though.”

“Yes, goodbye.”

Eventually Yixing leaves, and soon afterwards Baekhyun wakes up. As a testament to his unhurt condition the first words out of his mouth are “You said we're friends?”

 

 

. . .

 

“It worked the plan worked!!!!!” Heeyeon throws open Minseok's office door, beaming. “Taeyeon and I have already made plans for lunch together and oh my god she's so cute, Minseok you don't even know, she's so cute.”

Minseok beckons Heeyeon in and she closes the door behind her rocking back and forth on her feet excitedly. “I asked her about Baekhyun too, she said that she saw him only as a friend and that she had only come as a fake date, like she upfront just said that, and you won't believe what happened...”

. . .

 

 

Heeyeon and Minseok start eating lunch together in the cafeteria regularly (when Heeyeon doesn't have plans with Taeyeon that is) and sometimes Minseok will find Heeyeon getting coffee in the morning and they'll drink in the cafe together. He and Heeyeon will bond over getting hit on by creepy dudes, and Heeyeon will tell him how things are going with Taeyeon, like how she had started holding hands with Taeyeon or how it was Taeyeon who initiated the first kiss. 

In addition to Heeyeon, Minseok talks to Baekhyun regularly and with him sometimes Junmyeon, Taeyeon, or even Yixing (who turns out to be a pretty decent guy in the end). He starts talking to Jongdae in the halls one day and helps him carry some heavy things when he moves into a new office along with Jongdae's friend Chanyeol. He also talks with Kris, Kyungsoo, Sehun and Jongin at the cafe sometimes while he's waiting for coffee, and apparently the guy staring at him in the cafeteria that day Heeyeon first sat with Minseok was named Zitao and his brain had been pretty fried that day so forgive him if he stared a little. Minseok even meets up with his old friend Luhan who has a new girlfriend now that he's not so eager to give up.

In the end, Heeyeon may the Minseok's first real friend, and she's certainly his best friend, but she isn't his last.

 


End file.
